7 shopping tips for hoarders

Tip #1: Before you buy anything ask yourself: "Do I take responsibility for it?"

Does taking responsibility for your things mean guarding them with your life?

That's about right for the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom.

But for every day things people have in their homes- no.

Taking responsibility for the things you buy means that you own up to the good and bad of your purchase choices.

Not taking responsibility means giving that responsibility to someone else.  AKA blaming, finger pointing, etc.

It comes down to 2 questions to ask yourself before you buy: 

1. Where are you going to put it?
   
2. Do you have a purpose for it?

1. Where are you going to put your new purchase?

Don’t buy anything that's going to end up in a clutter pile.

You’ll forget about it and never use it.

You need, for your new purchase, a spot that's clutter free and makes it easy to find.

So... if you want to buy a clay pot, for example.

Here are bad and good places to put that new clay pot.

2. Do you have a purpose for your purchase?

“I’m buying it because I want it,” isn't a good answer.

It's a lazy answer that won't get you any change in your life.

A lack of purpose for your possessions hints at a lack of values.

More on this in Tip #7.

Buy to support something you do. Then use it.

Part 1 isn't good enough.

I worked with a hoarder who ate every meal with the same plastic cutlery.

(Yes, yes, she washed the cutlery after using it. Anyway...)

We found several unopened boxes of stainless steel cutlery.

She was floored when I asked here why she was using plastic cutlery when she has real cutlery.

Buy with a purpose. Then use it.

Tip #2: Don't buy extra because they might stop making it

Hoarders love pondering on this kind of potential bad event.

So, why not?

Because you don't know if it'll ever happen.

Buy 1 rather than 10. Take a risk.

Here's a mix of potential bad events and potential catastrophes. All equally bad reasons to buy extra.

• They may stop making it
• Another pandemic
• Cross border delivery screw ups
• There may never be a sale this good
• Aliens invading
  

Potential catastrophes are not a reason to buy extra. Full stop.

Tip #3: Don't buy gifts to be ready for people you haven't met yet or barely know

Buying gifts for people you know. That's being prepared.

But...

Buying gifts, that end up as clutter, for people you haven't met yet or barely know?

That's not being prepared.

It is using gifts as a flimsy excuse for compulsive shopping.

Tip #4: Don't practice buying until you're prefect at it

A woman told me when she finds something she likes, she does a deep dive to get really good at buying that thing.

Practice makes perfect can be a good goal.

But for shopping not when you struggle with compulsive shopping.

Instead try this: set shopping limits.

If you feel like buying <insert a number> then buy 1.

Tip #5: Don't open a store to sell your clothes

Opening a store sounds like a great idea.

But it’s the worst hoarder solution ever.

It's hoarder bulimia. The store becomes a way to purge so you can do more binge shopping.

The store doesn't solve your main problem. Deciding what goes (to the store) and what you keep.

It gives you a new problem. How do you feel about strangers touching you things and taking them away?

And of course, you have to run a store. Enough said.

Tip #6: Don't ask a friend to sell your collection

You know someone who would make a great salesperson?

They say, sure, you have nice things. I'll sell them for commission.

Here's the reality about selling 2nd hand goods.

It's tough.

People who win at this game work hard on building a buyer list.

There's tiny tiny sales for 2nd hand sales newbies.

And for you? The return is little to nothing.

Tip #7: Align your purchases with your values

Valuable possessions do not equate to having values.

This is the malady of hoarders.

It’s mission impossible for a hoarder to decide that this is more important than that.

For a hoarder, all possessions have the same value.

For the skeptics: Pick any 20 things, assign a number 1 (least important) - 10 (most important) to each. Is everything a 10?

If everything has the same value:

• You can’t figure out where to put anything. Practically, in cupboards and closets, more important things sit in front.
• You won’t know what’s better to use in different situations. So things pile up and never get used.
• It’s unthinkable to decide what to get rid of.

Magic is not how you make decisions about your things.

Decisions are based on your values.

Your values tell you which of your things are more important to you at different times.

That helps you decide where to put things away. What to use in different situations. And what to get rid of when you don’t have enough room for everything.

Learning what you value is crucial to get control of compulsive shopping and hoarding.